The start of the new year is a great time for new resolutions, making plans for your future and evaluating what you want for life. In 2022 my STBX at the time still lived in the same house, on a different floor. He had been on dating apps from a week after I found out about his affair. I decided that it was time for me to start dating too. I opened Facebook dating and met the great guy, the traveling nurse, and had my first date sometime in January. We had two dates, but it just wasn't there. Fun fact, we are still friends! Couldn't have asked for a better guy to have my first date after 25 years. We had Chinese and I smile every time I pass the restaurant. I had decided that I needed to get out there and sow some oats. I entered the field just wanting to find someone to go on adventures with, hold my hand and tell me I'm pretty. I added Bumble to the prospects.
I quickly matched up and started chatting. What an overwhelming experience. I'll probably have to dedicate an entry to just that! I've discussed with a few friends about how awful dating apps feel, and I would say that looking through options is rough. However, for someone looking not for their next soul mate, and not taking it too seriously, it was fun. Insightful. Weird. While enjoying my new, 20lbs lighter affair weight loss body, I had my fun. The crazy German, the ghosting roofer, retired cop turned insurance adjuster, the painter, the horse farmer, etc. Eventually I found a guy who stuck around and told me he was deleting his profile. Took me a bit, but I decided to proceed with just him to hold my hand and go on adventures. And adventures we had. He helped me check off a lot of my 45 in 2023 list. I broke up with him, made up with him. I focused on discovering me as my 2023 resolution. I worked on forgiveness.
2024 my guy and I went out to a great bar, dressed up and kissed at midnight. My resolution was to continue my journey, focus on moving forward, read more, and stay healthy. I spent the first half of the year readying and selling my house, then moving. The second half I have tried to get my mental health right again - the changes were getting to me. I started reading more, listening to books and podcasts. Seeing my doctors, therapist and having hard talks with my guy. Having hard talks with myself. We rang in the holiday with Indian food and quiet night in. We talked about meal planning. I worked on new goals - I want to improve my work situation. Be consistent with this blog and help other women entering in my system. I need to focus on my health. Back to being fit, eating right. Financial goals - being able to help my son more with school. Having a sound living situation, I need out of this tiny apartment.
So now I face 2025 with A LOT of goals, but a clearer vision of where I want to go. And I'm summarizing it with my word for 2025 - Pheonix. And from the ashes, I will rise!
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