After the utter devastation and betrayal of an affair, especially if he was a gaslighter and blamed you for everything, including the affair, being in a healthy relationship can be hard. It is also refreshing.
I broke up with my boyfriend because we have very different communication styles. Miscommunication on a lot of fronts. Fear on my side that I was repeating my pattern from being married, thinking I could love us enough until he changed.
We made it a month. Late Sunday, I get a text. Almost movie like. Asking to talk. Then asking me to step outside. And there he was. He had one of those cool personalized songs written for me. After listening to it, he proceeded to talk. To discuss our bumps and things that wounded me. All the while making sure to not direct blame at me, even when he could have. How strange. How loving. This man, while being a little slow to hear me at times, has such high Emotional IQ.
I am lucky to have fallen in love after what I've been through with someone who genuinely wants to be the man I need and deserve. I just hope I can stop running and maybe fight a little harder when things get uncomfortable, and be the woman he sees in me, and he deserves.
